How to Become Internet Famous – Part 1

Such a happy dog!

You are awesome!

Everyone wants to be famous.  And what is the best way to become famous, if you are poor, ugly, and talentless?  The internet. The internet is a land of opportunity for anyone who wants to have their opinion heard, who thinks they are smarter than everyone, or who thinks they are funny, but no one else seems to think so.

When my internet celebrity didn’t take off after writing a blog, I had to look to other options to spur interest in my internet famousness.  There are literally thousands (actually millions?) of popular websites that you can use to promote yourself and your commie agenda.

There is YouTube, but barely anyone ever became famous after posting on that website, and very few spawned successful memes (except maybe the cam whores).  But you can also become infamous if you screw up and embarrass yourself, and someone happened to be filming it.  Remember, everyone has a camera phone these days, right there in their pocket, just waiting for you to be an idiot.

Did I mention I'm a Boxxy fan?

Boxxy is foar everywun.

There is also Twitter, but that just won’t work for me, as I think anyone who can express their opinions in less than 140 characters is less than intelligent.  There was even a study that showed that most of the Tweets on Twitter are pointless babble. I’m ok with random comments, asides (why else would I use parentheses so much in my writing?), and strange conversations, but usually they evolve into something more than just whatever popped into my head at that moment.  Writing long-winded posts is why I started a blog in the first place, and you will read ever word I write, god damn it!

Some are just too foolish to ignore.

A million followers on Twitter does not make you smart.

Facebook? Well, I use it, but only for personal matters.  I like having a separation between my internet life and my real life.  If my family knew I was writing about pubes and chesty girls, I think they would disown me.  It’s a good tool for staying in touch with family and friends that you may not see all that often, but I think people need to realize that we don’t want to hear about every mundane detail of your life (Here is a great blog post that dissects all that is wrong with Facebook lately).

We don't care!

Someone must care.

Now that I think about it, I don’t think any of those options will work for me.  I’m going to have to resort to the lowest form of internet humor to become famous:  the meme.  This is similar to some of the YouTube and Twitter items, but worse.  It involves taking a joke (it doesn’t even have to be all that funny), making it into an image, and adding a caption.  Repeat ad nauseam, with variations on the original picture and caption, and insert other established memes as appropriate.  Meme Generator makes it easy.

I'm a bit of a spelling Nazi.

Would it be as funny with correct grammar?

Come back next week, when I’ll attempt to make you ROFL with a newly created meme in part 2!

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8 Responses to How to Become Internet Famous – Part 1

  1. cayman thorn says:

    Separating your internet life from your real life is SOOOOO . . . not what the internet is about. The grid peeps go all DeNiro on your ass if you try and tell ’em there is a difference between the two.

    Internet life or Real life…..pick a side.

    While you’re deciding on that one, I’ll be waiting for you in the convertible with the Doublemint Twins. They, like me, had no flipping idea what a meme generator was. But the big words got them all hot and bothered.

    So hurry the hell up and let’s book for a strip club!

    • dongtacular says:

      You’re right. I’m finding it hard to keep my internet life a secret. I think I may have to “come out of the closet” about my blogging and internet addiction.

      I’ve been trying to ease everyone in slowly, by posting odd, yet funny things on my Facebook. It’s kinda working, as some think that they’re funny, and others think they’re weird (I am weird).

      Get started with the twins, and I’ll join you in a few weeks. Do they have full-nude strippers in your area?

  2. Pingback: How to Become Internet Famous – Part 2: Create a Meme! | dongtacular: adj; sexually inappropriate language

  3. Maybe you could just get famous as the guy who coined the word “dongtacular.” I mean, I’ve made it my personal mission to use it in everyday conversation, and you should probably take some credit for that.

    • dongtacular says:

      Actually, I didn’t coin the phrase. I don’t remember where I heard it, but just like you, I tried to use it as often as I could, in the most dongtacular ways possible. Named a blog after it, for instance.

      Thanks for commenting! Have a dongtacular day!

  4. bobcb518 says:

    That was seriously hilarious!!!!

  5. mark richardson says:

    not sure where to start but I want to be famous but not face wise.you see im bigger than Jonah falcon,my wifes agreed to show my size of it can be financial rewarding and remain anonymous. me and wife can wear masks and mostly show off my penis size soft or hard…anyway I have few other sites write to .can u help for a base fee

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