Everyone wants to be famous. And what is the best way to become famous, if you are poor, ugly, and talentless? The internet. The internet is a land of opportunity for anyone who wants to have their opinion heard, who thinks they are smarter than everyone, or who thinks they are funny, but no one else seems to think so.
When my internet celebrity didn’t take off after writing a blog, I had to look to other options to spur interest in my internet famousness. There are literally thousands (actually millions?) of popular websites that you can use to promote yourself and your commie agenda.
There is YouTube, but barely anyone ever became famous after posting on that website, and very few spawned successful memes (except maybe the cam whores). But you can also become infamous if you screw up and embarrass yourself, and someone happened to be filming it. Remember, everyone has a camera phone these days, right there in their pocket, just waiting for you to be an idiot.
There is also Twitter, but that just won’t work for me, as I think anyone who can express their opinions in less than 140 characters is less than intelligent. There was even a study that showed that most of the Tweets on Twitter are pointless babble. I’m ok with random comments, asides (why else would I use parentheses so much in my writing?), and strange conversations, but usually they evolve into something more than just whatever popped into my head at that moment. Writing long-winded posts is why I started a blog in the first place, and you will read ever word I write, god damn it!
Facebook? Well, I use it, but only for personal matters. I like having a separation between my internet life and my real life. If my family knew I was writing about pubes and chesty girls, I think they would disown me. It’s a good tool for staying in touch with family and friends that you may not see all that often, but I think people need to realize that we don’t want to hear about every mundane detail of your life (Here is a great blog post that dissects all that is wrong with Facebook lately).
Now that I think about it, I don’t think any of those options will work for me. I’m going to have to resort to the lowest form of internet humor to become famous: the meme. This is similar to some of the YouTube and Twitter items, but worse. It involves taking a joke (it doesn’t even have to be all that funny), making it into an image, and adding a caption. Repeat ad nauseam, with variations on the original picture and caption, and insert other established memes as appropriate. Meme Generator makes it easy.
Come back next week, when I’ll attempt to make you ROFL with a newly created meme in part 2!