My cousin makes porn

My cousin is in the porn industry.  This is no secret.  Well, maybe it’s a secret to a few family members, as my grandma doesn’t really need to know.  Grant (yes, he is male, there is no way I would be describing the exploits of a female cousin in porn, no matter what some of my friends will tell you) moved out to the coast a few years ago looking for work, and happily found a job as a cameraman in these “films”.

He went to film school, and graduated, but not with good enough grades to land a job immediately after graduation.  He worked doing landscaping, and a few other odd jobs, like being a clown at children’s birthday parties, but that’s a whole other story.  He eventually decided he would have a better chance of finding a job in the “film” industry if he headed west, as that’s where all his friends from “film” school ended up.

Why am I emphasizing “film” all the time?  Because I find it silly that he refers the pornos he makes as “films”, since they aren’t even made on film.  Since Grant has been in the industry, they only film digitally.  Maybe there are a few that still use film stock, but I doubt it, since film is very expensive, and the porn industry is known for cutting corners and putting out more material in a week than a teenage boy could use in a month.  Why do I know all this stuff?  Well, when a topic interests me, such as porn, I like to do some independent research on the subject.  In this case, it did involve watching quite a few “films”, but it also involved a fair amount of reading.  There is a surprising amount of articles on the history of the pornographic “film” industry, I would recommend you look into it if you are a person who enjoys porn.

Anyway, he moved out there, and was able to share an apartment with one of his friends.  The friend was working as a cameraman, and was able to get Grant a job as an assistant on one of his shoots.  Little did Grant know that his friend worked as a porn cameraman, and also occasionally got in on the “film” action.  Nasty, I know.  You don’t want to think about the cameraman just jumping in on a scene when a girl is getting railed, but it’s actually a common thing.  There are many porn actors who also work as cameramen, so they are fully qualified and allowed to actually join in on the sex action if needed.  The porn industry union actually allows this.  They have a union, and enforce many rules regarding who can work doing what sorts of things on films.  It pays to do independent research!

Grant worked as an assistant for a few weeks, then was promoted to cameraman.  He worked that job for many months, on hundreds of shoots.  I guess if you are a good enough camera operator, you can work on several shoots per day, as they usually only last for a couple of hours, including set-up and take down-time.  There are some that last over the course of a few days, like the bigger-budget ones released by the porno mags to include on DVD with their magazines.  Grant didn’t work on many of those, he mainly did the “quick and dirty” shoots that end up on subscription websites.

Why am I telling this story?  I saw him the other day.  In a video.  Banging a tall blonde with fake tits.  I was doubting it at first, thinking that it was just a guy that kind of looked like him (he does look like a porn actor, short spiky hair, tattoos, soul patch) but I saw that this guy had the same stupid Grim Reaper tattoo on his leg.  It was Grant, no doubt about it.

After I skipped back and paused the frame to get a definitive look at that dumb tattoo, I finished whacking (the chick was seriously hot, and they don’t focus on the guy, just tits and vag) and fired off a quick email to Grant congratulating him on his new celebrity status.  He responded the next day, laughing about how nervous it was, and that he wasn’t even able to finish the scene and they had to get some other guy for the cum-shot.  He also threatened me with a savage beating if I ever told anyone in our family.  I agreed to keep my mouth shut, since he would totally kick my ass because he is a really scary guy and has multiple bad-ass tattoos.

The moral of the story is if you ever see someone you know in a porn video, quietly finish jerking off, and never tell anyone.

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5 Responses to My cousin makes porn

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  3. ashleeekaren says:

    You’re freaking hilarious.

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